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I feel I am extremely insecure. And a large part of that stems from me holding the view that love is fickle and that we sometimes trick or get tricked into thinking we like someone.

An unnamed bond formed between two that becomes so close and so dangerous in my eyes. Maybe a certain event changes how you two view each other, and unknowingly you two slip into the slippery slope of being caught in an ambiguous relationship. Where you were best friends, but then you two started having a special connection someone makes the first move….

Everything starts off as a friendship. Some u know it as totally impossible to have feelings for or that it just wont happen. But how would i know who those are. And what about those that are not impossible and just merely doesnt seem the right one at that point of time? How do i prevent that?

I am just so afraid to start a new relationship and face the same old problem. It will give me the idea that the new one is probably gonna go down in ruins too. But yet i feel if I dun face it and try a relationship, how do i grow? But then the qns is, will i grow out of it even if I experience a relationship? Or am i just suffering unnecessarily?

Watching dramas and seeing how I react to the dramas, I feel I am still the same old me. I see the girl in the show being chased by another guy, I feel like I would have been so jealous. Cos like this day and age, the divide being jus friends and something more has been blurred. So what is there to reassure me that there isnt and will not have anything special to that friendship?

Today I think I saw bad girl on yew tee mrt station at around 845pm….instantaneously my heart froze and fear gripped me…my mind went blank and began occupied with thoughts of what am I gonna do what was I gonna say and was it really her? I wanted to know so badly was it her but yet I was so scared she saw me…..
I could still rmb last time I saw her alone at Yio Chu Kang station felt the same kind of flutter in my heart but only to walk in the opposite direction…. I guess some things are just hard to change….

Is it good that we cant be hurt any further, that we expect nothing to go right and everything to go wrong. Is it only then we appreciate the littlest of joy amidst all the sorrow and disappointment because there simply isnt any expectation and faith of a better ending.

Should it be seen as the person cheated on the partner?

Or should it be seen that the person and the partner hasnt been happy and just couldnt live happily with each other like how they were supposed to be. In all that unhappiness, feelings of love fades/masked by unhappiness. And just so happens, the person happen to find feelings of love somewhere else and it start growing. Is it really anyone’s fault?

Perhaps the stand taken will always depend whether you have been “cheated” or “cheating”… blurred by emotions

Its been almost 2years? U are still like a problem that i jus averted recently.
Time went by in a flash. U are with ur new boyfriend probably having way better times then we ever did, well im still stuck in hole of insecurity and questions about love that i need answers for.
I moved on, but sure i still do call you names when im reminded of unhappy past. But i still cant love someone else…not cos of anything else but cos im jus scared of the day of imminent breakup, after devoting so much and ending up all broken. Again.
Its hard when im so realistic and aware that relationships now dun really usually end up in eternity. Perhaps i need to be naive to fall in love. But how can i.

I wanna get past this obstacle but i dun know how. I need help, guidance. I always think the deep hole of problems i have i have to fix it myself somehow over time, but nth changed…im still me same old one…so idk manm how to fix it..fix me

Also, whats true love? As in the person u gonna marry. To me love is all in the mind, if u think u love someone, u might really do so in the future. So how to know which is the true eternal one?